graffiti

Sunday, April 09, 2006

yooooohooooo..!

failed to turn up for 6 fingers outing last saturday to celebrate jiani&heyi's birthdays and sebastian going off to army. fell sick on friday because of the rain haha. i think they were rather pissed with me cuz apparently they thought it was some cock-up lame excuse. well they didnt even bother to message me to take care but yeah, doesnt really matter cuz im fine already.

was packing my room that sunday cuz my new table has arrived (yes my reward). didnt go to malaysia to sweep graveyards cuz i was, as ive said, sick. sorted through all the letters i had. only kept mich's 1^st letter to me since sec.3 (or was it sec.2?) till our junior college days and ade's half-hearted letters to me (she always take sucha bloody long time to reply) when we're in sec.3 and 4. haha the rest were pretty meaningless. sometimes i think i only have 3 friends i can depend in this world- minshan, mich and ade. blame it on myself, who's more-than-often giving my attention to reuben and they are the only ones left who're still willing to regard me as a friend lol.

whenever im not spending time with reuben, ill be with my family or on my own. went for a walk at the market yesterday night with my dad after dinner. paid my handphone bills, bought some hair serum (my dad bought some weird black hair restorer cream from germany), ordered my contacts and even found my danish butter cookies! have been having a craving for them since wednesday haha. then we walked to another supermarket near our house to buy his celeries. and we'd walk hand-in-hand, with him telling me some friend of his setting up a business to sell snow-ice desserts. then it striked me how much ive taken my parents for granted. my dad still holds my hand whenever we go out, and id wrap my arm around my mom on those trips to market with her (since she's shorter than me). i darent think of the day when we would part, as in they would go "mortal perish".

and i thought to myself: i am lucky to have a good family who loves me, a stable relationship with a great boyfriend who drives me up to the wall nevertheless (where's the fun without some bickering) and of cuz, friends who are just there even though we dont spend much time together (who wont think im giving lame excuses for not meeting them).

i used to be overshadowed by this friend of mine. our friendship is one of great fun; and great torment. in one of her letters to me (which i threw all of them away already) she said she scolds me often because she doesnt want me to change as she feels im easily influenced. which was true but even so, her scolding had done nothing to make my character strong but instead made me a vulnerable person. as time went by she sort of mellowed cuz we werent in the same class anymore and drifted apart. our friendship went downhill partly because i didnt handle it well too. i guess some people are just not meant to cross our paths for the rest of our lives. i used to be bothered by her everything- what she did,what she thought of me,was she angry or happy with me etc. ok im not pervertic nor obsessed with her (and im totally straight). just that she used to matter so much to me. used to.

circumstances are different now for very obvious reasons. i just thought every friendship fostered is special cuz it is fate that brings people together. we shouldnt take anything for granted because for all we know, we can just die the next second. i know this sounds so cliche but it's true nonetheless.

im just happy with the way things are now.

♥ 9:36 AM